Monday, August 17, 2009

The earliest picture I have of myself.......It's still hard to look at

Dear All,

For those of you who are still following my blog, my mom (Bless her heart) kept and digitized a picture of me when I was 2 years old. My first home visit, the first time my family decided they wanted to adopt.

Apparently, from what my adoptive mom says I gave both of them a "Big Hug" and I was very clingly. Apparently, I was a very loving child. This picture is still very hard too look at, but as I promised to share my entire life story, I want to share it with the community.

What does this picture tell me? It tells me a couple of things:
  • The horrors I am sure I saw are masked with smiles.
  • I am a time bomb waiting to go off.
  • My parents don't know what's about to happen to me.
  • I want to mourn for this picture and warn this child about what is coming.
  • I wonder, what horrible things I had to suffer as a child because of my birthparent's mistakes and screwups.
  • I wish I could hold this child....
  • I shed a tear for this picture. It's the only picture I have that isn't masked with some horrible, ugly, terrible memory. It's the only one of it's kind.

Welll, that's all for tonight. I have a long night of work ahead of me.


1 comment:

Thandi said...

I wish someone could have protected this child from his past...and what was to come.